Day 100: Celebration and Fish

We finally reached Day 100!! I feel like I should have made cupcakes to celebrate such a momentous occasion. Thanks for reading along and offering thoughts for the journey. You’ve helped make it easier.

Now, on to a matter that has been bugging me for a while and I have yet to address it. This will complete the process of bringing all living creatures within the realm of change. At least, here at our house.

We have a fish tank. Correction. I have a fish tank. I fell in love with it at Petsmart (on sale, of course!) and without any knowledge of fish or the care required, I told Dom that I had to have that tank. The kids were still pre-K-ish in age, and Nemo was all the rage. I envisioned a colorful tank full of vivid characters and hours of relaxing entertainment.

More like a pain-in-the-butt tank with egotistical characters and hours of internet research, not to mention wads – I mean WADS – of money.

I’ll drill this down to the short version of all this experience has taught me. Snails need no partner to reproduce with a vengeance. Clown loaches eat snails, but freak-out sensitive little boys in the process. Plecos can grow to over 10 inches in length and scare the heck out of all their tank mates when they swim fast. Plecos are also nocturnal, so you don’t see the torture going on during the day. There is only one brand of algae killer that works fast, but it has an alternate effect on fish (our Molly swam bent in half for three months after I used the product). Cory catfish can survive just about anything. It is possible to suddenly have 19 baby fish born overnight in your tank. Fish mothers sometimes eat their young. A female fish can hold sperm for up to 6 months before releasing it to impregnate herself. That’s how you come home from the pet store with one female fish and four months later you have babies swimming around. And finally, if you cover yourself in OFF earlier in the day and then have to stick your entire arm into the tank later in the evening, you can effectively kill over half of your fish population. It will take you two days to realize what caused the epidemic.

Now, you’re probably wondering what any of this has to do with positive, healthy change. Well, the fish need some positive, healthy changes too…mostly to their water. See, in the last few years I have not been so regular about cleaning their tank. So much so that when I do clean the tank, we lose many fish to their inability to process clean water through their poor polluted gills.

I have a schedule of tank maintenance all set up in my email system so that I get reminders of when to do this or that. Problem is that I ignore them. And the fish. So, the fish tank is going on the chore chart now as a permanent reminder that FISH DESERVE LOVE TOO. I imagine if my fish had cars, their bumper stickers would say as much.

Day 97: Catching Up and Following Up

It occurs to me as I establish new routines and try new products that I am frequently offering to follow up with you and let you know how a certain thing is going. It also occurs to me that I haven’t been very good about actually following up.

So, the blog gets a new habit. (See? Nothing is safe from these changes.) I think it would be a good idea to make one post each week dedicated to follow up – letting you know how successful (or not) a particular change has been. Sound good? Let’s get started…

1. The purse situation. I mentioned this earlier in the week as a way to gently let you know I’m failing miserably at condensing my bag of tote-ables. I’m still very much dependent on the oversized bag with lots and lots of gear. However, I am pleased to report that I have vamoosed several items from the purse. I no longer feel the need to carry clear nail polish, three flavors of dental floss, disposable toothbrushes, cuticle cream, or twelve hair clips. (Day 45)

2. The sandwich bread. I have made two loaves of wheat bread, and the kids declared me a gourmet chef! While it is a little more dense than the store-bought bread, they love it and are using it for their sandwiches. I had to make room for my bread machine to stay on the countertop, which in turn sent the bread box to the pantry. So not only are we getting used to homemade bread, we are also retraining ourselves on where to find it. (Day 84)

3. The “Lunch Box” inside the pantry is filled with items that are only to be used for packed lunches. We have yet to run out of anything that the kids view as pertinent to a satisfying lunch since we implemented this tool. This has been a raging success! (Day 78)

4. Graham Cracker. This bunny of ours is on the attitudinal mend! She is a happy bunny once again now that we have allowed her to claim the playroom as her own. No biting, no ugliness, and no chasing her around the room. She even hops over to us to give sniffs and kisses – all at her own pace. Plus, we close her bedroom door at night and we all sleep soundly. (Days 83 and 87)

5. Breakfast. We are eating breakfast as a family every morning. Victoria and I are both doing well now that it has become more of a habit. We don’t dread early morning food anymore. As a result, I find that I now need more menu options. (Days 2, 72 and 81)

6. Coffee. I’m still on one cup of coffee a day, with the exceptions of weekend afternoons with my mom and dad and nights when I have planned grocery shopping. On occasion when Mabel drinks my coffee for me, then I may end up consuming a cup and a half, but that’s all her fault. ;) I have ditched the herbal coffee (which should not even be allowed to bear the name of coffee!!) and Aaron and I are perfectly content to have a café au lait made from our favorite Starbucks Breakfast Blend in the mornings. I have let go of my caffeine paranoia… for now. (Days 73 and 74)

7. Deodorant. Mom convinced me to buy one of those crystal things that you run under water and then apply. There is no scent, no residue, no apparent sign that you have applied anything. But it works. I must say that is the most surprisingly rewarding $3.49 I have ever spent. It takes a little longer to apply, but it is so very worth it! (Day 64)

8. Grocery Shopping. I am still in a proverbial hell on this one. I am stopping at four grocery stores and spending about 33% more than budget. BUT, I am buying all the things we need and use – mostly organic, all of them natural – and I am not over-buying anything. (Except maybe the Newman-O’s. Those sure are good!!!) (Days 17, 61, and 62)

9. Putting the Kitchen to Bed. We were doing okay with this change for a little while, but we relapsed into old habits and before we knew it, the countertop was littered with school papers and junk mail again for days on end. This makes it harder to have a successful breakfast cooking experience, so we will refocus our energy on this one. (Day 23)

10. Mommy and Daddy Chores. I resurrected the chore chart and stuck with it for a little while, but Dom wasn’t feeling it, so I tossed the chore chart in a moment of self-righteous “I-didn’t-post-this-on-the-fridge-for-my-health” tirades. Then I saw Mabel-fur sitting atop a baseboard corner, and grimaced. I printed another chore chart, and decided to shore up my own efforts. (Day 20)

I think I almost caught us up. I’ll try to give each new change about two weeks before reporting on its status, and I’ll reserve my Sunday posts for this purpose.

Have a great purpose-driven week!! :)

Day 93: Wrestling My Receipts

Hi. My name is Lori and I am a receipt hoarder.

I don’t mean to hoard them, and I am more than willing to get rid of them once the amount has cleared the bank. BUT… I must admit that I am a bit like PigPen from Peanuts…remember the cloud of funk that followed him around? Imagine that to be a cloud of tiny paper receipts. Now you see me.

A week or so ago I was asking the kids to help me switch between four purses (I’m still trying to get adjusted on the purse situation, and presently alternate between large and small. Why four purses all of a sudden? I really have no answer for that.)

Anyhoo, while emptying one purse Victoria asked, “What do we do with all these little papers?!”

“Stuff them into the little white purse.”

“Oh, Mom. Really??”

I gave her The Look. “Yes, really. That way I’ll know where they are.”

She shrugged and commenced stuffing.

Now, aside from the terrible lesson I just taught my daughter about (im)proper use of purses, I now have a purse I can’t use until I clear it of all the receipts. And the worst part is, it’s a white purse which I likely won’t carry again until next spring. So, I fear the receipts will still be waiting for me in the spring.

You heard me. It’s happened before.

I determined this weekend that I need one of those desktop scanner things that keeps and categorizes all your random papers, receipts included. It looks so nice and compact. I have not researched how much they are, though. Now, the problem would not be the new scanner. The problem is that I already have two perfectly functional flatbed scanners attached to this very computer. Two.

I think I need professional help.

I am going to make an honest effort this week to scan my receipts on my existent flatbeds and see what format is produced in order to determine if it is worth making this a permanent practice. If it takes more effort than stuffing the receipts into some obscure purgatory, then I fear I may not keep up the habit.

And my cloud of tiny paper will continue to follow me.

Day 72: Back to Breakfast

Okay, so I haven’t exactly been doing so great at the breakfast thing. But now that school has started, Victoria doesn’t want to eat breakfast either, which is not such a good idea for a third grader who needs to hit the ground running each day. So she and I have to work on that. Really work on that…

I tried asking her what sorts of foods she might like for breakfast. Personally, I am known for juggling my travel mug of coffee and grabbing a granola bar on the way out the door. Not exactly what one might call a good role model. Sometimes breakfast just creeps me out. Can’t explain it. Whatever it is, Vic shares the feeling.

Vic and I are going to have to take baby steps on this one. Last year (or longer ago?) we were all really good at eating breakfast. I’d get up early and have smoothies and ham & eggs on the table by 7am. I look back on that and wonder why we stopped. Then, I ate breakfast for a little while after I named it as one of the early changes of habit in this blog. But it was a habit that I didn’t hold to very well, and now have to revisit.

Breakfast foods sound really good to me during the day, but not so much early in the morning. Yesterday Vic started out with a half piece of toast, and I had a cup of grits. Baby steps. Maybe we will graduate to something good like egg-white omelets soon. I think we can work back into a good breakfast habit. It’s just gonna take some early-morning effort. ;)

Day 70: Look Who’s Teaching

One thing I never, ever, ever thought I would do is teach a class. When I was younger and fellow students would ask me to explain the assignments to them, I failed miserably. I never was able to break it down to an understandable level for the other person. I always started out at the level of MY understanding, and that just left the fellow student bewildered. No, for the sake of anyone who would ever know me, I would never be caught teaching.

Have I ever before mentioned my asinine use of the word “never?” It seems almost everything that I verbalize, “Oh, I’ll NEVER do that,” eventually happens. I hate eating my words.

But here I go, entering my second year of teaching the 2nd Grade First Communion class at my church. Contrary to what anyone else says, I view my efforts last year as a complete flop. Oh, I managed to make the best of it and end the year with a genuine feeling of love and pride for twenty-nine children I did not previously know. Not to mention my own daughter was in the class, a situation any sane individual would avoid altogether. So between that, my fall case of shingles, and an emotional breakdown on the Big Day, I really felt like I had somehow botched the whole experience.

As a matter of reconciling myself to the task, I am prepared to make every effort for this year to be 100% better than last year. The first thing I realize I must do is prepare the lessons. (Yeah, that one seems like a no-brainer. But remember the intro to this where I said I was not cut out for teaching? I rest my case.) I am also going to plan some craft activities with the ideas my friend Mickey gave me last year. And, as I realized at the end of last year, I must do a better job of communicating with the parents.

My goal is three-fold here, and these may be fleshed out in later days. For now:

1. I plan to have Dom pick the kids up from PSR so that they can get to bed on time, and I can have a few extra minutes (or thirty) to talk with my co-teacher. This should alleviate the problem of neither teacher knowing what the other is thinking. (Welcome to the plan, honey. Sorry to spring it on you this way.)

2. I need one evening a week to detail the plans of the next lesson, and to prepare any parent communication to be sent with the children. Sunday seems like the best day to do this.

3. At some point soon, I sincerely hope to have the PSR website up and running so that anyone can get information on our program and classes when they need it. I think I will need to update it on Wednesdays after classes so that any new information is immediately available and pertinent.

There it is, folks. The Big Plan. Here’s hoping I can pull it off, and that this year will be better than the last.

Day 66: Making Room for Better Sleep

Yes, I know I already addressed in another post the hours of sleep needed to feel like our absolute best selves. Some things just bear repeating, and this has a slightly different spin.

Victoria determined earlier this week that she simply was not getting enough sleep. We had already adjusted the bedtime to provide for better sleep during the upcoming school year, but she continued to be a Cranky Franky. And she blamed it on lack of sleep.

While I know my eating and sleeping habits can affect my mood in a New York minute, I was not inclined to allow her to blame a situation for her mood, but rather wanted her to accept responsibility for choosing to be a grumpy bug, and then look for a solution to the situation she found herself in.

Boy, did she find a solution! Victoria announced that she wasn’t sleeping well because Marsha Mallow (the bunny) keeps her awake at night. She reassured us of her love for Marsha, but asked that we PUH-LEEZE remove Marsha from her room at night. She even had a suggestion as to where Marsha could sleep – in the playroom upstairs. “After all,” Vic surmised, “you’re not using that room for anything else!”

She makes an excellent point.

And I can vouch for Marsha being noisy at night. Sometimes in the sleep-state between surrender to the pillow and REM, I can hear the bunnies playing in their individual cages. Last Friday, I slept in Victoria’s bed with her because she woke up in the middle of the night and I went to comfort her and just decided to stay. I tossed and turned all night while Marsha played, tossed her food bowls in the air, and drank rather noisily from her water bottle. When do rabbits sleep, I ask ya???

So Monday night we moved Marsha’s cage into the playroom. But that lasted about 30 minutes, if that long. Aaron and Vic suddenly felt very sad for Marsha having to sleep all alone in a room she wasn’t used to. Aaron declared in a most direct manner that he would rather have Marsha sleep in his room than have to be by herself. (She’s alone all day long, but I guess that’s different because it’s daylight??) Plus, he swears the bunnies don’t keep him awake. So, Marsha’s cage got dragged down the hall to Aaron’s room, where she now sleeps during the night before being dragged back into Victoria’s room in the morning.

All in all, this arrangement seems to be working out. I’m proud of Victoria for offering a solution to her problem. Everyone seems to have adjusted well to the new nighttime habit. And Vic has slept well all week.

May there continue to be peace at night.

Day 65: New Year, New Habits

There is only one thing on my mind as I write my post this morning. The New School Year. Part of me is looking forward to it – returning to the normal ebb and flow of the school calendar. The other part of me is just praying that all the new things we have begun at home don’t get sideswiped by the school experience. (And praying that Vic has a good year!)

Today I am pleased to report the new habits my kids have sworn to, some of their own free will, but all with an open mind and pleasant attitude. (This is a WOW moment, folks!)

1) Victoria vows to make A’s. I do not insist on A’s…I insist on honest effort, and let the grade be what it will. My questions to the kids when they bring home their report card are 1) Did you do your best? and 2) Did you learn something new? To me, that pretty much sums up the student’s and the teacher’s purpose for being there. But Vic's enthusiasm for the school year is quite refreshing.

2) Victoria will take her lunch this school year. Vic is a school-lunch kid…always has been. And for $1.50 I couldn’t complain, at least until I found out that she was spending $1.50 every day and just eating the roll. Whaaaaa???? She has offered this year to start taking her own lunch each day because, as she puts it, “The cafeteria food might have bad ingredients in it.” Jamie Oliver made an impact on us, I tell ya!

3) Both kids are accepting of the mandate that they are old enough now to make their own sandwiches. I bought them the Sandwich Thins so they don’t have to fiddle with cutting off the crust. (When do they outgrow that, by the way?  Just curious.)

4) Both kids got their backpacks ready last night and hung them on the wall. Pencils sharpened, grade-level appropriate book packed for free-time reading, new pink pearl eraser tucked neatly into the pencil pocket. I think I love school supplies almost as much as I love office supplies. Eeep!

5) Both lunchboxes are sitting on my countertop right now, packed with Natural Cheetos, organic gummy bears (well, ok…rabbits) and their BPA-free water bottles. Sandwich boxes are ready to hold the entrée. The kids were troopers about setting everything out last night to save us time in the morning.

6) Uniforms were selected and laid out neatly. (We found Aaron’s belt - abandoned all summer long - with relative ease. That’s pretty major for us.)

7) Both kids are prepared – at least for the moment – to tackle the extra assignments (Accelerated Reading and Math) within the first six weeks of each nine weeks for the reward of a friend sleeping over each quarter. The bribe – that’s all me, baby!!!! I believe it will keep our stress to a minimum if those extra things are out of the way before report card time winds around. And at least this time, I’ve bribed them with play dates and sleep overs. Remember, Marsha Mallow is the result of an AC Math reward from last year. Perhaps I’m getting a little smarter as we go along?

So there it is in a nutshell. Yes, I am prepared to let it go if these things are not checked off military style. My vow for the school year is to gently guide them at home, hold to the routine as much as possible, and make sure everyone eats and sleeps well. Oh, and NOT flip my lid if this doesn’t go as planned. ;)

Happy First Day of School!!!

Day 63: Back to School

My kids have two more days of summer, but they will be far from lazy days. We are in high-gear trying to get ready and adjusted to the idea of a brand new school year. Last night I imposed on Dom my mental list of ToDos in an effort to satisfy my need for everyone to be on the same page, more so than for anyone else’s benefit.

Basically, it seems everyone is willing to go with the flow and/or whatever I suggest needs to be done rather than interject their own thoughts or spend these last two days of summer (God forbid) planning the first few weeks of school. I think they all know that I’d rather we all do it my way, and being the sweethearts that they are, everyone plays along.

Maybe this weekend has just been too hectic. Maybe I spread myself too thin, and this is my knee-jerk reaction to feeling pulled in too many different directions. I feel the uncontrollable urge to pre-pack the next two weeks’ lunches or something equally illogical. I feel like I just got the kids on a summer routine, and now I have to switch it all up again. I usually go through this each August, if I recall correctly. And within a week or two, I realize that the school year is actually EASIER than the summer, albeit busier, and everything just falls into place.

My moments of reflection bring me back to some basic understandings: 1) I cannot change people and - sometimes - situations, 2) I can change my attitude toward a situation, and 3) there is no rule that says I have to do it perfectly.

I believe I should make a habit of allowing my inner peace to direct my outer chaos.

Day 60: Bean Time

That’s what my mom calls the dinner hour. Bean time. As in: bean time for the puppies, bean time for the grandkids, “You ready to take a break? It’s bean time!”

As often as I have heard her use that term, I never really mulled it over in my subconscious (um, consciously) until now. I would like to set our bean time.

I’d like for dinner to be served at 6:00 at our house, barring strange or unusual events. 6:00 seems the most reasonable time to assimilate our evening meal, given our work schedules, evening chores and bedtimes. If I shore up my efforts at pre-planning the meals and all that is involved in cooking them, then 6:00 should be totally do-able.

I don’t know, maybe I just like the idea of my kids knowing dinner is at 6:00 regardless of what else is going on….or how old they get. I picture them being all grown-up and just instinctively knowing that if they make it to mom’s by 6:00, there will be dinner served, for them and whomever they bring along.

I like those little glimpses into the future when they hit me out of the blue. Although, I kind of concocted this one, so I don’t know if I can call it a true glimpse. I had the original True-Blue Future Glimpse in college. I looked over at Dom and saw gray in his sideburns. Two blinks, and it was gone. I knew instantly that I would grow old with him.

Maybe there exists an infinitesimal difference between a glimpse and a desire. Something internal, defined somehow by either destiny or hard work. Whatever the nature of my glimpses, I do know that everything I love about this life has taken a lot of work, and has been well worth the effort.

Before I get all philosophical on ya, what say we save this chat for bean time? Y’all drop by around 6. Dinner will be on the table.

Day 57: Practicing the Fine Art of Delegation

A few nights ago Aaron was organizing his Pokemon cards and noted that he had too many of a certain card, and the pile was overstuffing the binder pocket page and causing it to break.

“Looks like you need a Ziploc baggie to put the extra cards in. That way, you can keep them, but you don’t have to have them taking up room in your binder. I’ll grab one from the kitchen for you.“ (Mommy always has a solution.)

“Okay,” replied my sweet boy.

I continued doing whatever-it-is-I-was-doing in his room and then left to get distracted by something else.

It dawned on me the next morning that I never did go get the Ziploc for him. And yes, I actually felt sorry for him, what with having such a useless mom and all.

But wait a minute. Is that really how this should have played out? Wouldn’t it have been much better if I had just said, “Looks like you need a Ziploc baggie…Do you know where they are? Bottom drawer by the dishwasher? Go ahead and get one, sweetie.”

This simple act of delegating would have solved two problems. 1) Aaron would gain more experience in resolving his own issue, and 2) I would not have any reason to beat myself up for forgetting something and letting someone down.

It has always been my habit to see a way to make something better, suggest it, and then offer to do it so that whoever will benefit most will also be inconvenienced the least.

Strangely, that’s how I’ve rolled.

Today I will start making a concentrated effort at delegating for everyone’s own good.

Day 55: Where Are My Shoes?!!

The kids used to constantly ask me, “Mommy, where are my shooooooooes?” To which I would reply, “I do not wear your shoes, baby. I don’t know where they are.” Or, “Where did you leave them?” Whichever reply I used, the reaction from them was always the same: “Oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” followed by a huff and a quick exit.

One day I was in a hurry to leave the house and I asked Aaron if he had seen my shoes anywhere. You know exactly what he said: “I don’t wear your shoes, Mommy. I wouldn’t know where they are. Where do you think you left them?”

Smartie pants.

Today while we were getting ready to go to the pool for Aaron’s birthday party, I was bustling around looking for my shoes. The shoes I keep by the back door in a basket for easy donning and traipsing through the yard. The flip-flops. The I-don’t-care-if-they-get-wet-at-the-pool shoes. I started to ask if anyone had seen them, and I stopped mid-sentence. Aaron really had an impact on me all those years ago. I managed to find one shoe in the appropriate basket by the back door and the other shoe…gasp…in my closet with all my other shoes.

Shoes put away in my closet…the sure sign that Dom has been here.

I have gradually been moving toward better shoe care. And I thought the shoe basket by the backdoor was a great idea. Alas, so did Mabel. It seems that she is the culprit who runs off with my flip flops at random, causing me to lose my ever-loving mind.

I need another shoe system. Not just for the flip flops, but for all shoes in the house. A basket at the bottom of the stairs, perhaps? A nightly routine of everyone grabbing their own shoes from the basket and toting them up the stairs for the night? There has got to be an easy solution to the shoe disorder here.

Or I could just try going barefoot everywhere… I always did like Shoeless Joe.

Day 6: Speak!

I’m not so sure I’m going to be any good at this change. But I am determined to try. I have a hard time speaking my mind when I disagree with someone. For me, it’s not a matter of opinion; it’s a matter of courtesy. But when I leave an aggravating situation or conversation and want to vent my frustration to the first person who will listen, I am accutely aware that this kind, listening friend is not the one who needs to hear how I really feel. I should have told it to the person who ticked me off in the first place.

Take Friday. I always go to Starbucks on Friday morning for coffee, and I get drinks for the Starbucks fans at work too. Each of them has a Starbucks card or cash that they send with me, so I make separate payments at the register. And, out of courtesy, I ALWAYS preface my order with, “I need four drinks, but I’m paying for each separately. Is that okay?” As a customer, I realize I do not need their permission, but I think it’s nice to warn them anyway. Hell, I even sweetly smile when I say it! In two years of Friday visits I have never been answered with anything other than, “Of course it’s okay! What’s the first drink?!”

Until this past Friday. At a location I don’t usually frequent on Friday mornings, the barrista looked at me, rolled his eyes ever so slightly, and replied with barely-hidden disgust, “I guess so.”

If you know me AT ALL, you know what I said... “Thank you. The first drink is a grande…”

What I SHOULD have done was politely call him on the attitude right then. It would have saved me the further aggravation at the end of my transactions when the barrista addressed the gentleman behind me and said, “Man, I’m sorry about that.”

WHAAAAA? I was in the middle of apologizing on my own to the guy when I heard the barrista. I felt bad for holding up the line, and always apologize to those behind me when it takes longer than normal. Understand, I apologize out of courtesy, not out of regret. I am gonna get my coffee come hell or high water. I am at least nice enough to not pull that crap in the drive-thru. I walk in if I’m making more than one payment…always! So, I’m thinking that on any weekday at 7:45 a.m., you can generally expect to wait a while at Starbucks. I don’t think I knocked the earth off its axis with my coffee needs.

I left with such a feeling of aggravation, that I wish I had explained to the barrista the importance of service and attitude. But I didn’t. Re-playing the conversation in my head, I have identified the point at which I was first aware of the problem (an important step in any situational review) and I can pin-point that same moment in other problematic situations. It is at that point that I need to speak up. Gently, but firmly speaking my mind in a way that lets the other person know they have crossed a line. Whether they change as a result will not be in my control. But I can only leave it with them if I tell them how I feel.

THIS is going to be my hardest change so far…

Day 5: Slowing It Down A Bit

Recently I was asked from the backseat, “Mommy, what’s the speed limit?”

“60, darling. Why?”

“Because your thing says 70.”

Sure enough, I was speeding. Nothing like getting busted by your 8-year old. Only slightly less embarrassing than facing a cop - but with far more lasting repercussions. There’s no chance of paying Victoria the fine and being done with it.

I always had a heavy foot as a young adult. I certainly had my share of speeding tickets and frowns from my father. Fortunately - knock on wood - I have not gotten a speeding ticket since the kids have come along. I must admit I slowed down considerably once I had those two precious heartbeats in the backseat. But every once in a while, I will realize how fast I am driving, and I have to remind myself that despite all the reasons I have to hurry, I have many more reasons to slow it down.

The good thing about all this change is that it’s never too late to make a fresh start. So, with a concentrated effort from this point forward, I will drive the speed limit.

So don’t rear-end me!!

Day 4: One Cup of Coffee (ouch!)

Ugh. This is where it starts to hurt. I need to set an official limit on my coffee consumption. With some infrequent exceptions, of course! For the most part, I only drink coffee, tea and water. Mostly water, which is a plus. But I HAVE to have that morning cup of coffee. Er, I mean cups…

I used to drink three cups of coffee a day. I know that sounds like a lot. (Unless you are my dad, and then I sound like a lightweight. LOL!) Usually two cups in the morning, and one in the afternoon. Or one after dinner. Yes, I can literally drink espresso half an hour before bedtime and still sleep like a baby. Although, I have noticed that as I get closer to 40, some decongestants will keep me awake. Go figure.

Four months ago I put myself on a diet. The goal was to get back to pre-baby weight. Hey, I know it’s been ten years. You counting or something?? Anyhoo, along with the diet came calorie and fiber awareness. And out went at least one cup of coffee. All because right before I started this new eating plan, my co-workers brought me a basket of Starbucks goodies for my birthday, and consequently addicted me to the Mocha Powder at 45 calories a serving. Add that to the sugar and milk I insist on adding to my coffee, and each cup carries 90 calories. So I limited myself to two cups a morning. Only one if I ate breakfast simultaneously. This one cup plus breakfast seems to have more appeal than it used to, so it shall be today’s new habit.

Now, in the past if it happened to work out that I had at least 90 calories to spare at the end of the day, I would gladly make a cup of coffee and enjoy it after dinner. This is a treat Dom and I afford ourselves each Christmas season, as soon as the Starbucks Christmas blend is released. The simple indulgence of an evening cup of coffee with the hubster is one I might not be able to give up completely, but I will try not to overindulge and will do my best to limit it to the holidays.

Oh, and I simply can’t pass up the rare opportunity to enjoy a cappuccino on the back porch with my dad, engaged in conversation over computers or gardening. The same way tea and cookies with mom shall never be turned down. There are just some moments of interpersonal connection we should never avoid, and these fall into such a category.

Otherwise, it’s me and my one cuppa joe.

Day 3: A Smile Worth Showing

As I face the computer monitor this morning – early - while munching away on my Raisin Bran (Post has the best ingredients, if you’re interested) my head is spinning with all the things I want to change. But I also recognize that there are some pretty basic things that need to change before I can really give full attention to what I want to change. I hope you will bear with me while I deal with the mundane.

I recall the sign in a dentist’s office that read, “You don’t have to floss all your teeth, just the ones you want to keep!” While I have always been proud of my teeth, thanks to the late but still cherished Dr. Cope, I have not always been a good flosser. (Don’t judge! Have you ever looked at me and thought, “Yeesh! That chic seriously needs to floss!”??? Then I rest my case.) I always found it to be a rather hasslesome task: winding the floss around my fingers, cutting off the circulation in the index finger just for the effort of reaching the back teeth. And I have a very small mouth, so it’s doubly difficult to reach everywhere. I would floss, mind you, but not with any degree of regularity.  But a year ago I decided to change. After one of my regular dental cleanings, I decided to floss every night until the next cleaning. For six months, I was a flossing ROCK STAR. I found these cool mini-flossers in the grocery store. No more winding string around my fingers or deciding what flavor and wax level to buy. Dr. Plackers Whitening flossers came to my rescue at minimal cost. I asked my hygienist, Sharon, if she noticed a difference at my next visit, and she answered, “I haven’t had to scrape much, have I? Of course I noticed!!!” I beamed with pride.

Within the month following that checkup, I was attacked by the shingles virus, which set up shop in the nerve running above my upper left bicuspid. For the next five months, flossing was painful to the point of tears, so I minimized my efforts. I’d floss about twice a week on average - not quite the “beaming with pride” effort, but an effort nonetheless. And, as is the nature of habit, once flossing became more bearable I was too comfortable with the new routine to change.

Until today. Today I return to the habit of flossing daily. The best way for me to accomplish this is to brush and floss with the kids before their bedtime. That way, they have my example to follow, and I have the added health benefit of establishing 8:00 as my cut-off time for consuming anything other than water. I imagine it will be just a short while before not flossing is simply out of the question. And that’s something to smile about!

Inspiration for the Day: “What lies before us, and what lies behind us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Day 2: Breakfast

Breakfast is not my best meal. I don’t know why, but I can’t seem to get in the mood to eat anything that early in the morning. It’s like the thought of food before I’ve been awake for two hours makes me cringe. But, breakfast is said to be the most important meal of the day, so starting today I will make the effort to give my body what it needs.

The problems I run into when I try to implement breakfast are 1) time – there is never enough of it in the mornings; 2) menu – what constitutes a healthy breakfast, i.e. do I HAVE to eat freaking oatmeal every day? and 3) metabolism boost - I am super hungry by 9 am when I eat breakfast at 7, so I have to pack extra munchies to take to work.

You know, now that I look at those three reasons to not eat breakfast, I realize I don’t have much to stand on. I’ve already solved the time problem by not snoozing. (Second day in a row, thank you very much. Dom and the dogs are wondering if I’m ill.) I’m doing a ton of research into healthy food options, so #2 just got squashed. And #3 is really just me whining because I never wanted to change what needed to be changed. Not like I couldn’t use the metabolism boost. I mean, really!!

In the spirit of change for the better, I am sitting here now with a whole wheat bagel and a ramekin of Greek yogurt. And it’s not half bad. I’m surviving. Maybe the trick is to eat before that first cup of coffee. Maybe this will make me want less coffee. Hmmmmmmm…

Invitation to the Journey: 365 Days, 365 Changes

I am a control freak. Not overtly, mind you. Most people who know me might not see me as controlling (or they might surprise me and say, “uh, yeah, we do!”) At any rate, I know there are many things beyond my control, namely everything outside of myself. Given that my stress manifests in physical ailments, I have simply GOT to find a better way to deal with things.

If you’ve read my other blogs, you know of my new battle with food and product ingredients. In my search for solutions, I am faced repeatedly with things I cannot control, which brings me full circle to what I CAN control – me.

So here’s my plan. I will make one positive, healthy change each day for the next year. 365 days – 365 positive changes. Some may affect only me, some will affect the whole household. Mostly, this is an effort to instill healthier habits. Nothing like, “Oh today I read a book.” Each thing I change will be a habit that needs to be maintained. I’ll keep track of the progress here. Feel free to walk this journey with me.

I just shared this idea with Dom, and his question was, “You have 365 things you can change??” Here’s how I see it. When I was in Fourth Grade I read a book called Little Miss Know It All. (Yes, I still remember the books I read in elementary school. Let it go.) Little Miss Know It All knew the answer to every question ever asked of her, except one: What’s the largest room in the world? The answer…

Room for improvement.

Day One: Getting Out of Bed. My first positive change is being implemented today. I got out of bed as soon as the alarm sounded. I am a snooze hound. I will hit snooze seven or eight times before I finally roll out of bed in the mornings. In fact, I will purposely set the alarm 30 minutes earlier than necessary just so I can have the pleasure of hitting snooze repeatedly. Dom hates this habit of mine. When the alarm clock was on my side of the bed (which did not last long, mind you) as the alarm buzzed, Dom would kick me until I got up. Then, we moved the alarm clock to the other side of the room so that we had to physically walk to it and turn it off. That solution didn’t last long either, because I figured out that if I crawled to the foot of the bed and leaned waaaaaaaaaay over the footboard, I could reach the snooze button with my middle finger. It is amazing how much trouble I will cause myself just for that snooze. The alarm is now my phone which charges on Dom’s nightstand, so when it chimes at 5:15 every morning, he tosses it at me, and I snooze – waking every 9 minutes to stare at that bright screen and delay the rising for a little longer.

But not today. Today, I got out of the bed at 5:15. This is important. Change is not easy, but change in my routine is necessary if there is to be positive change in my spirit.

Here we go.