Purpose Driven Mom is moving to a new home, now that I have figured out WordPress enough to keep myself afloat over there. Plus, I’ve got a brand new domain that I’ve been dying to take for a test drive. So, if you follow me here, please come with me to http://www.thepurposedrivenmom.com/ where I will keep up the daily postings and add pages of recipes and charts and whatever else my purpose-driven neurosis calls for. My new look is a bit pre-fab still, but I will be working on that as time progresses.
I’ll keep this site up for a while longer, but all new posts after today will be on the new site. Eventually, Things, Life, What-Not will merge with DomAndLori.net, but I must first wait-out whatever standard duration exists for a seller to hang on to my expired domain. I hate paying late fees.
Today’s change is highly disturbing to me as a mom, but my usually positive outlook will guide me through it. Victoria has been having major conduct issues at school. Grades are fine, but conduct is atrocious. Talking seems to be her favorite pastime. All along, in the back of my mind has lived the memory of the conference with the school counselor where she briefly mentioned at the end “ADHD.” I have spent four months looking for reasons to either believe or dismiss the suggestion, and trying to alter everything at home that might have a positive impact.
Yesterday before Mass I prayed for a sign. I ask for signs all the time, but I hardly ever expect to get them. Let me rephrase that: I hardly ever recognize them. Yesterday I prayed that God would give me a sign if I needed to pursue this ADHD thing. And then Victoria came home with an unprecedented SEVEN marks in conduct. SEV-VEN. It wasn’t until my exhausted and overworked mind and body hit the pillow last night that I remembered my request for a sign.
So, we will be making appointments for evaluations and following up on whatever in the world this is going to lead us to. I am so conflicted right now. I want to cry and punch things all at the same time. And I totally botched sharing the evaluation idea with Vic. She thinks there is an alien life form living in her brain and when I tried to explain it better, she said again and with as much conviction as the first time, “There is nothing wrong with me.”
My heart is heavy, and I pray that we can wrap our heads around the best way to help Vic. And I hope I am posting very soon about the sunny side to all this Mama Drama.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Day 78: Lockin’ Up the Lunches
It’s grocery day once again in my personal land of Oz. Because grocery shopping is the precursor to everything else that I do in this house, you will likely hear a lot about it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
We are completely out of everything we like to eat. We are almost out of bread, but we have enough to last one or two more days in the event of near catastrophe, so we haven’t outright starved. Although, if you ask Aaron and Victoria, they may have a different take on the matter.
As a positive change for all involved, the kids are now responsible for packing their lunchboxes for school the night before, with the exception of the sandwich, which they make themselves the next morning. As they prepared their lunchboxes Thursday night both kids were at a loss once they realized we were out of their lunchtime staples: natural cheetos and organic gummy chews. What’s a kid to do?
“Mommy, when are you going to the grocery store?”
“Tuesday. We will have food again on Tuesday.” (Ever since emptying my pantry in June we have not had real “overstock” of anything. And if the kids find something they like, it goes fast!)
“That doesn’t help us much for tomorrow,” I heard Aaron say as both kids peered into the empty vastness of their lunchboxes.
I couldn’t resist pointing out that I had previously purchased just enough lunch snacks to last until the next grocery visit. But, when they snack on those items during the weekend, that leaves them in a bind later on before the next grocery run. My point finally hit home.
I shared this bit with a co-worker who suggested that I get a large clear plastic bin to keep on the bottom shelf of the pantry, and all the lunch foods can go inside. Then, if it’s in the box, it’s off limits to anything but packing your lunch. Everything outside of the box is fair game for weekends and after school snacks.
I love this idea. I am hoping to implement it this week, and see how we do as the next few weeks go by. Now, to find my stash of Rubbermaid containers…
We are completely out of everything we like to eat. We are almost out of bread, but we have enough to last one or two more days in the event of near catastrophe, so we haven’t outright starved. Although, if you ask Aaron and Victoria, they may have a different take on the matter.
As a positive change for all involved, the kids are now responsible for packing their lunchboxes for school the night before, with the exception of the sandwich, which they make themselves the next morning. As they prepared their lunchboxes Thursday night both kids were at a loss once they realized we were out of their lunchtime staples: natural cheetos and organic gummy chews. What’s a kid to do?
“Mommy, when are you going to the grocery store?”
“Tuesday. We will have food again on Tuesday.” (Ever since emptying my pantry in June we have not had real “overstock” of anything. And if the kids find something they like, it goes fast!)
“That doesn’t help us much for tomorrow,” I heard Aaron say as both kids peered into the empty vastness of their lunchboxes.
I couldn’t resist pointing out that I had previously purchased just enough lunch snacks to last until the next grocery visit. But, when they snack on those items during the weekend, that leaves them in a bind later on before the next grocery run. My point finally hit home.
I shared this bit with a co-worker who suggested that I get a large clear plastic bin to keep on the bottom shelf of the pantry, and all the lunch foods can go inside. Then, if it’s in the box, it’s off limits to anything but packing your lunch. Everything outside of the box is fair game for weekends and after school snacks.
I love this idea. I am hoping to implement it this week, and see how we do as the next few weeks go by. Now, to find my stash of Rubbermaid containers…
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Day 66: Making Room for Better Sleep
Yes, I know I already addressed in another post the hours of sleep needed to feel like our absolute best selves. Some things just bear repeating, and this has a slightly different spin.
Victoria determined earlier this week that she simply was not getting enough sleep. We had already adjusted the bedtime to provide for better sleep during the upcoming school year, but she continued to be a Cranky Franky. And she blamed it on lack of sleep.
While I know my eating and sleeping habits can affect my mood in a New York minute, I was not inclined to allow her to blame a situation for her mood, but rather wanted her to accept responsibility for choosing to be a grumpy bug, and then look for a solution to the situation she found herself in.
Boy, did she find a solution! Victoria announced that she wasn’t sleeping well because Marsha Mallow (the bunny) keeps her awake at night. She reassured us of her love for Marsha, but asked that we PUH-LEEZE remove Marsha from her room at night. She even had a suggestion as to where Marsha could sleep – in the playroom upstairs. “After all,” Vic surmised, “you’re not using that room for anything else!”
She makes an excellent point.
And I can vouch for Marsha being noisy at night. Sometimes in the sleep-state between surrender to the pillow and REM, I can hear the bunnies playing in their individual cages. Last Friday, I slept in Victoria’s bed with her because she woke up in the middle of the night and I went to comfort her and just decided to stay. I tossed and turned all night while Marsha played, tossed her food bowls in the air, and drank rather noisily from her water bottle. When do rabbits sleep, I ask ya???
So Monday night we moved Marsha’s cage into the playroom. But that lasted about 30 minutes, if that long. Aaron and Vic suddenly felt very sad for Marsha having to sleep all alone in a room she wasn’t used to. Aaron declared in a most direct manner that he would rather have Marsha sleep in his room than have to be by herself. (She’s alone all day long, but I guess that’s different because it’s daylight??) Plus, he swears the bunnies don’t keep him awake. So, Marsha’s cage got dragged down the hall to Aaron’s room, where she now sleeps during the night before being dragged back into Victoria’s room in the morning.
All in all, this arrangement seems to be working out. I’m proud of Victoria for offering a solution to her problem. Everyone seems to have adjusted well to the new nighttime habit. And Vic has slept well all week.
May there continue to be peace at night.
Victoria determined earlier this week that she simply was not getting enough sleep. We had already adjusted the bedtime to provide for better sleep during the upcoming school year, but she continued to be a Cranky Franky. And she blamed it on lack of sleep.
While I know my eating and sleeping habits can affect my mood in a New York minute, I was not inclined to allow her to blame a situation for her mood, but rather wanted her to accept responsibility for choosing to be a grumpy bug, and then look for a solution to the situation she found herself in.
Boy, did she find a solution! Victoria announced that she wasn’t sleeping well because Marsha Mallow (the bunny) keeps her awake at night. She reassured us of her love for Marsha, but asked that we PUH-LEEZE remove Marsha from her room at night. She even had a suggestion as to where Marsha could sleep – in the playroom upstairs. “After all,” Vic surmised, “you’re not using that room for anything else!”
She makes an excellent point.
And I can vouch for Marsha being noisy at night. Sometimes in the sleep-state between surrender to the pillow and REM, I can hear the bunnies playing in their individual cages. Last Friday, I slept in Victoria’s bed with her because she woke up in the middle of the night and I went to comfort her and just decided to stay. I tossed and turned all night while Marsha played, tossed her food bowls in the air, and drank rather noisily from her water bottle. When do rabbits sleep, I ask ya???
So Monday night we moved Marsha’s cage into the playroom. But that lasted about 30 minutes, if that long. Aaron and Vic suddenly felt very sad for Marsha having to sleep all alone in a room she wasn’t used to. Aaron declared in a most direct manner that he would rather have Marsha sleep in his room than have to be by herself. (She’s alone all day long, but I guess that’s different because it’s daylight??) Plus, he swears the bunnies don’t keep him awake. So, Marsha’s cage got dragged down the hall to Aaron’s room, where she now sleeps during the night before being dragged back into Victoria’s room in the morning.
All in all, this arrangement seems to be working out. I’m proud of Victoria for offering a solution to her problem. Everyone seems to have adjusted well to the new nighttime habit. And Vic has slept well all week.
May there continue to be peace at night.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Day 65: New Year, New Habits
There is only one thing on my mind as I write my post this morning. The New School Year. Part of me is looking forward to it – returning to the normal ebb and flow of the school calendar. The other part of me is just praying that all the new things we have begun at home don’t get sideswiped by the school experience. (And praying that Vic has a good year!)
Today I am pleased to report the new habits my kids have sworn to, some of their own free will, but all with an open mind and pleasant attitude. (This is a WOW moment, folks!)
1) Victoria vows to make A’s. I do not insist on A’s…I insist on honest effort, and let the grade be what it will. My questions to the kids when they bring home their report card are 1) Did you do your best? and 2) Did you learn something new? To me, that pretty much sums up the student’s and the teacher’s purpose for being there. But Vic's enthusiasm for the school year is quite refreshing.
2) Victoria will take her lunch this school year. Vic is a school-lunch kid…always has been. And for $1.50 I couldn’t complain, at least until I found out that she was spending $1.50 every day and just eating the roll. Whaaaaa???? She has offered this year to start taking her own lunch each day because, as she puts it, “The cafeteria food might have bad ingredients in it.” Jamie Oliver made an impact on us, I tell ya!
3) Both kids are accepting of the mandate that they are old enough now to make their own sandwiches. I bought them the Sandwich Thins so they don’t have to fiddle with cutting off the crust. (When do they outgrow that, by the way? Just curious.)
4) Both kids got their backpacks ready last night and hung them on the wall. Pencils sharpened, grade-level appropriate book packed for free-time reading, new pink pearl eraser tucked neatly into the pencil pocket. I think I love school supplies almost as much as I love office supplies. Eeep!
5) Both lunchboxes are sitting on my countertop right now, packed with Natural Cheetos, organic gummy bears (well, ok…rabbits) and their BPA-free water bottles. Sandwich boxes are ready to hold the entrée. The kids were troopers about setting everything out last night to save us time in the morning.
6) Uniforms were selected and laid out neatly. (We found Aaron’s belt - abandoned all summer long - with relative ease. That’s pretty major for us.)
7) Both kids are prepared – at least for the moment – to tackle the extra assignments (Accelerated Reading and Math) within the first six weeks of each nine weeks for the reward of a friend sleeping over each quarter. The bribe – that’s all me, baby!!!! I believe it will keep our stress to a minimum if those extra things are out of the way before report card time winds around. And at least this time, I’ve bribed them with play dates and sleep overs. Remember, Marsha Mallow is the result of an AC Math reward from last year. Perhaps I’m getting a little smarter as we go along?
So there it is in a nutshell. Yes, I am prepared to let it go if these things are not checked off military style. My vow for the school year is to gently guide them at home, hold to the routine as much as possible, and make sure everyone eats and sleeps well. Oh, and NOT flip my lid if this doesn’t go as planned. ;)
Happy First Day of School!!!
Today I am pleased to report the new habits my kids have sworn to, some of their own free will, but all with an open mind and pleasant attitude. (This is a WOW moment, folks!)
1) Victoria vows to make A’s. I do not insist on A’s…I insist on honest effort, and let the grade be what it will. My questions to the kids when they bring home their report card are 1) Did you do your best? and 2) Did you learn something new? To me, that pretty much sums up the student’s and the teacher’s purpose for being there. But Vic's enthusiasm for the school year is quite refreshing.
2) Victoria will take her lunch this school year. Vic is a school-lunch kid…always has been. And for $1.50 I couldn’t complain, at least until I found out that she was spending $1.50 every day and just eating the roll. Whaaaaa???? She has offered this year to start taking her own lunch each day because, as she puts it, “The cafeteria food might have bad ingredients in it.” Jamie Oliver made an impact on us, I tell ya!
3) Both kids are accepting of the mandate that they are old enough now to make their own sandwiches. I bought them the Sandwich Thins so they don’t have to fiddle with cutting off the crust. (When do they outgrow that, by the way? Just curious.)
4) Both kids got their backpacks ready last night and hung them on the wall. Pencils sharpened, grade-level appropriate book packed for free-time reading, new pink pearl eraser tucked neatly into the pencil pocket. I think I love school supplies almost as much as I love office supplies. Eeep!
5) Both lunchboxes are sitting on my countertop right now, packed with Natural Cheetos, organic gummy bears (well, ok…rabbits) and their BPA-free water bottles. Sandwich boxes are ready to hold the entrée. The kids were troopers about setting everything out last night to save us time in the morning.
6) Uniforms were selected and laid out neatly. (We found Aaron’s belt - abandoned all summer long - with relative ease. That’s pretty major for us.)
7) Both kids are prepared – at least for the moment – to tackle the extra assignments (Accelerated Reading and Math) within the first six weeks of each nine weeks for the reward of a friend sleeping over each quarter. The bribe – that’s all me, baby!!!! I believe it will keep our stress to a minimum if those extra things are out of the way before report card time winds around. And at least this time, I’ve bribed them with play dates and sleep overs. Remember, Marsha Mallow is the result of an AC Math reward from last year. Perhaps I’m getting a little smarter as we go along?
So there it is in a nutshell. Yes, I am prepared to let it go if these things are not checked off military style. My vow for the school year is to gently guide them at home, hold to the routine as much as possible, and make sure everyone eats and sleeps well. Oh, and NOT flip my lid if this doesn’t go as planned. ;)
Happy First Day of School!!!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Day 63: Back to School
My kids have two more days of summer, but they will be far from lazy days. We are in high-gear trying to get ready and adjusted to the idea of a brand new school year. Last night I imposed on Dom my mental list of ToDos in an effort to satisfy my need for everyone to be on the same page, more so than for anyone else’s benefit.
Basically, it seems everyone is willing to go with the flow and/or whatever I suggest needs to be done rather than interject their own thoughts or spend these last two days of summer (God forbid) planning the first few weeks of school. I think they all know that I’d rather we all do it my way, and being the sweethearts that they are, everyone plays along.
Maybe this weekend has just been too hectic. Maybe I spread myself too thin, and this is my knee-jerk reaction to feeling pulled in too many different directions. I feel the uncontrollable urge to pre-pack the next two weeks’ lunches or something equally illogical. I feel like I just got the kids on a summer routine, and now I have to switch it all up again. I usually go through this each August, if I recall correctly. And within a week or two, I realize that the school year is actually EASIER than the summer, albeit busier, and everything just falls into place.
My moments of reflection bring me back to some basic understandings: 1) I cannot change people and - sometimes - situations, 2) I can change my attitude toward a situation, and 3) there is no rule that says I have to do it perfectly.
I believe I should make a habit of allowing my inner peace to direct my outer chaos.
Basically, it seems everyone is willing to go with the flow and/or whatever I suggest needs to be done rather than interject their own thoughts or spend these last two days of summer (God forbid) planning the first few weeks of school. I think they all know that I’d rather we all do it my way, and being the sweethearts that they are, everyone plays along.
Maybe this weekend has just been too hectic. Maybe I spread myself too thin, and this is my knee-jerk reaction to feeling pulled in too many different directions. I feel the uncontrollable urge to pre-pack the next two weeks’ lunches or something equally illogical. I feel like I just got the kids on a summer routine, and now I have to switch it all up again. I usually go through this each August, if I recall correctly. And within a week or two, I realize that the school year is actually EASIER than the summer, albeit busier, and everything just falls into place.
My moments of reflection bring me back to some basic understandings: 1) I cannot change people and - sometimes - situations, 2) I can change my attitude toward a situation, and 3) there is no rule that says I have to do it perfectly.
I believe I should make a habit of allowing my inner peace to direct my outer chaos.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Day 57: Practicing the Fine Art of Delegation
A few nights ago Aaron was organizing his Pokemon cards and noted that he had too many of a certain card, and the pile was overstuffing the binder pocket page and causing it to break.
“Looks like you need a Ziploc baggie to put the extra cards in. That way, you can keep them, but you don’t have to have them taking up room in your binder. I’ll grab one from the kitchen for you.“ (Mommy always has a solution.)
“Okay,” replied my sweet boy.
I continued doing whatever-it-is-I-was-doing in his room and then left to get distracted by something else.
It dawned on me the next morning that I never did go get the Ziploc for him. And yes, I actually felt sorry for him, what with having such a useless mom and all.
But wait a minute. Is that really how this should have played out? Wouldn’t it have been much better if I had just said, “Looks like you need a Ziploc baggie…Do you know where they are? Bottom drawer by the dishwasher? Go ahead and get one, sweetie.”
This simple act of delegating would have solved two problems. 1) Aaron would gain more experience in resolving his own issue, and 2) I would not have any reason to beat myself up for forgetting something and letting someone down.
It has always been my habit to see a way to make something better, suggest it, and then offer to do it so that whoever will benefit most will also be inconvenienced the least.
Strangely, that’s how I’ve rolled.
Today I will start making a concentrated effort at delegating for everyone’s own good.
“Looks like you need a Ziploc baggie to put the extra cards in. That way, you can keep them, but you don’t have to have them taking up room in your binder. I’ll grab one from the kitchen for you.“ (Mommy always has a solution.)
“Okay,” replied my sweet boy.
I continued doing whatever-it-is-I-was-doing in his room and then left to get distracted by something else.
It dawned on me the next morning that I never did go get the Ziploc for him. And yes, I actually felt sorry for him, what with having such a useless mom and all.
But wait a minute. Is that really how this should have played out? Wouldn’t it have been much better if I had just said, “Looks like you need a Ziploc baggie…Do you know where they are? Bottom drawer by the dishwasher? Go ahead and get one, sweetie.”
This simple act of delegating would have solved two problems. 1) Aaron would gain more experience in resolving his own issue, and 2) I would not have any reason to beat myself up for forgetting something and letting someone down.
It has always been my habit to see a way to make something better, suggest it, and then offer to do it so that whoever will benefit most will also be inconvenienced the least.
Strangely, that’s how I’ve rolled.
Today I will start making a concentrated effort at delegating for everyone’s own good.
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