Day 16: Finding a Happy Medium

Today I am back to wearing chemistry class on my face. For two days I have fought watery eyes and under-eye sensitivity. There are a number of things that could be causing this: new eyeliner, new mascara, new tinted moisturizer OR the new eye makeup remover pads. Whatever the culprit, I have to apprehend it. Fast. Today I start the experiment of finding out what is making my eyes water. So I went back to all my previous cosmetics, with the intention being to return my face to a state of “normalcy.” I’ll introduce the newer cosmetics one at a time until I have determined what’s causing the watering and irritation.

Since I feel like I’ve taken a step backward, I have to find something positive to enact today. My Type A personality needs something I can control, focus on, and feel better about. We (Dom and I) have been better about going through the daily mail than we ever were before, but mostly because Dom has made a concentrated effort to rid the kitchen counter of the mail pile and immediately shred what we don’t intend to keep. I, on the other hand, have not been so committed. I believe the kitchen counter is presently cluttered with items that belong to me. Some are the kids’ things, but mostly, well…

I know it sounds like a simple undertaking, and some of my changes will be no-brainers. Just because I should have been doing something a certain way, doesn’t mean I have…

Starting today I will make an effort to keep the kitchen counter free of my personal clutter. And I will join Dom in handling the mail as it comes in, rather than letting it pile up. He will be so pleased.

Day 15: Channeling Frenchy

Remember Grease? Remember when Frenchy got kicked out of beauty school because she dyed her own hair pink? And then in Grease 2, she went back to high school “to get my chemistry so I can mix my own cosmetics,” and then filled the chemistry lab with smoke?

I’m starting to see similarities between us.

I tried the sunless tanner recipe last night. Never fear, it did not leave me splotchy brown. It didn’t leave me anything. Except frustrated.

This is the second “green” recipe I have tried with none of the desired results. This weekend I made my own bathtub cleaner which did not clean the tub. It cleaned the sink, and made an entertaining fizzing sound, but it did not clean the tub.

I have to be able to clean the tub. I mean, really.

Back to the sunless tanner. Aside from the awesome learning experience this has been (I’m learning that I am commercially dependent) there have been few benefits. The recipe did leave my skin exceptionally soft, a result of the lanolin and sesame oil. It was quite sticky at first, and so liquid that I had to put it in a spray bottle, but after application it dried and left a very soft feel to my skin. I was thinking that if it actually colored my skin at all, I would need to add some essential oil to it for a nice fragrance. But now that point is moot. I woke up whiter than when I went to bed. And I’m growing whiter with each exfoliation.

By the way, for experiment #3, I also tried to color my hair with coffee last night. I don’t think it took.

It’s too early to give up. I must get back to my research and gear up for the next green experiment. Frenchy, we got some work to do.

Day 14: Natural Done Backfired on Da Girl!

Okay, okay. I should have known this was going to happen. In my quest to try all these new products I’ve found I got a little carried away and paid for it dearly, even though none of my coworkers called me out on it. (Thanks, ladies and gents.)

On weekends lately I have been letting my hair air-dry. Mom and I both noticed that I had quite a bit more body in my hair on these days, and just a tad more frizz than I was accustomed to. Just to catch you up to speed on me: my hair usually lays flat against my wee-little head unless I have a drugstore-army-stock of styling products layered into it. I tend to keep my ‘80s hair in an effort to keep my head from looking like an English pea sitting atop my shoulders. It’s all in my imagination, I’m sure. Yeah…just wait till you see me with a wet head.

…Which almost happened today! I purchased a tiny bottle of jojoba oil this weekend at the health food store, thinking that it would be a good ingredient in my sunless tanner recipe. (Stay tuned for that project!) But, when I read about jojoba oil and learned that it was an excellent hair and scalp conditioner, I decided to just brush a tiny amount into my wet hair on Sunday morning to see if it freaked my hair out. No freaking from the backside of my hair, which is the only place I allowed the oil to go, but I also didn’t see any great benefit. (In retrospect, how could I have seen? It was the bleepin’ back of my head!)

I am now two days into using a new shampoo, and these “natural ingredient” shampoos don’t lather as much as our chemical-ridden concoctions. Less lather and fewer chemicals means my hair isn’t slathered with smoothing agents as I rinse. So, when I towel dried my hair before venturing outside to do my yoga with the dogs, my hair felt a bit harsh. No problem, I thought…I’ll just dab a little jojoba oil into it and I should regain that smooth feel, plus get the benefit of having such a good oil in my hair.

Oil in my hair. Dear God.

While my hair was wet, it felt great. All through my yoga (which is another long story) as I brushed it out of my face, I noticed a softer texture and was completely convinced that it was going to be a good hair day. I was so, so wrong.

When I came back inside to blow-dry my hair it actually dried, but it never looked dry. Ever. I even rolled it, teased it, and sprayed the fire out of it, all to no avail. It limped in heavy, clumpy curls all around my face. Yuck.

I managed to somewhat style it at mom’s house before leaving – late – for work. Mom suggested that I inform our payroll manager that he could be grateful I was still wearing deodorant. (Our payroll manager explicitly laid down the deodorant rule when I began this “natural” adventure. LOL!) By the time I got to work, I could feel my oil-curled bangs drooping into my eyes, and I could stand no more. I ventured to the ladies’ room armed with a heavy-duty hair claw and my sunglasses. (Sunglasses have proven to be an excellent hair accessory, in case you were wondering. The hair claw? Well, it is aptly named.) Turns out I didn’t need the sunglasses. I managed to pouf my bangs up on top of my head and secure them with the claw. Success! I spent the rest of the day watching the minutes crawl by and praying no one would ask what was “up” with my hair. Suffice it to say that I won’t be using the jojoba oil trick again – at least not on a day I plan to see anyone. And I can’t wait to wash my hair tonight.

At the rate I’m going, you might be inclined to place bets on the sunless tanner project. At least there is some measure of comfort in the words of the immortal Scarlett O’Hara: “Tomorrow is another day!”

Day 13: Moving in the Right Direction

I guess I should spend some time with a little follow-up on all our progress so far. News on the makeup front: Day 2 of wearing the organic cosmetics and no problems to report. I was concerned yesterday when the mascara flaked with each swipe of my finger, and even though it still looked great at the end of the day, I was certain it would never make it through a good cry. Well, as it turns out, I got to test that today. We went to see Toy Story 3.

Yes, I cried.

I cried a lot.

I don’t know if I cried more over the toys’ support of each other as they floated toward an incinerator, or over Andy growing up and going off to college, leaving his childhood behind. No matter, I cried right through it all. A quick pit-stop into the ladies room after the movie confirmed that the eyeliner and mascara both came through the tears unscathed. Victory!!!

Other minor victories in my shopping yesterday afternoon…I found a shampoo (Burt’s Bees Raspberry and Brazil Nut) and also found the organic cosmetic line (Physician’s Formula) in two other stores: ULTA and Sunshine Health Foods. ULTA had a product I couldn’t pass up: PF organic wear eye makeup remover pads!! How cool, huh?? I picked up a new facial cleanser, also Burts Bees, which smelled and felt great when I used it last night. Tally for yesterday and today: instead of using my typical 10 cosmetic products with all the nasty chemical ingredients, I only used three. My next imminent purchase is a facial moisturizer, which will probably also be Burts Bees, and the loose powder in the PF Organic Wear line.

Also purchased yesterday: a Burt’s Bees lip gloss in shimmery pink (shared with me by Victoria, of course) a bottle of lanolin and a bottle of jojoba oil. I needed to purchase sesame oil to make my own sunless tanner, so that project is on hold until at least tomorrow. And we also got some new nail polish. While I don’t believe any nail polish is going to be organic, I understand that OPI brand has made healthy strides to eliminate the most harmful ingredients from their line. So we bought the new Shrek blue. :)

Next on the ToDo List is the task of firing off letters to Mary Kay, Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s in hopes of making some positive change for women and our area. That, in fact, is today’s healthy positive change: Communicating with the big dogs and trying to get positive wheels moving for more than just my family.

Until tomorrow…

Day 12: Vamoosing the Parabens – Sweet Victory

I read somewhere that the average woman puts 175 chemicals on her face a day. Ouch…that is a more than frightening statistic. I probably apply a lot more than that, given my strict obedience to a Mary Kay beauty regimen for the past 22 years. When I see Victoria wanting to imitate me in my routines, my desire to supply her with healthy habits and quality products is almost overwhelming. Equally overwhelming is the task of identifying those products…

In my quest for healthy cosmetics that don’t result in me slathering my face with cancer-causing and hormone-whacking chemicals, I spent my lunch hour at Drug Emporium yesterday. I started on the shampoo aisle, because Drug Emporium has a ton of products, and I knew I was going to run out of shampoo sometime in the next few days. Surely DE would have a suitable organic shampoo. Bottle after bottle, I grumbled and frowned as I perused the ingredients. Literally, every bottle of shampoo that said “Natural” on the front listed some of the worst ingredients on the back. What in the world???

Deciding not to let myself get discouraged by shampoo when I had trekked across town for cosmetics, I wound my way around to the makeup area. The walls were lined with the major brands. I knew better than to even look their direction. I remembered seeing something online about Physicians Formula and an organic line, so I began to search for their products. In a squatty middle aisle with its back to the nail polish, I spied some PF. I knelt down and began to peruse their ingredients, getting more discouraged by the moment. “Methylparaben,” “Ethylparaben,” “Sodium Lauryl Sulfate,” “DMDM.”

IS NOTHING SACRED??!???!!!!!!!

I shot a tired and defeated glance to my left and almost lost my balance. There, merely eighteen inches away from me, were green and brown boxes of Physicians Formula Organic Wear. They were instantly illuminated by a golden sunbeam shooting through the ceiling of the store, and I could hear angels singing the Hallelujah Chorus. I hopped over to scan their ingredients and LOVED what I read. No parabens. No SLS. No DMDM. Organic ingredients. First Ever ECO-cert cosmetic line in the US. I swear, I think my eyes started to water.

Second in importance to the ingredient list is, of course, cost. But those sweet little vintage DE price tags (the ones that tell you the cashier is going to hand-peck the prices one-by-one into the register) were single and low-double digits. I bought four items: tinted moisturizer, a blush/bronzer combo, eyeliner and mascara for $39.72. This is almost what I pay for MK with my 50% discount. Not too shabby!

Mom and I spent the evening looking up my new makeup in the Cosmetics Database. They rank around “4” overall in the database, largely attributed to the Titanium Dioxide which provides the sunscreen protection in my tinted moisturizer. Given that these new cosmetics don’t contain the most awful offenders and I can pronounce every ingredient on the box, I am satisfied with my purchase.

Now, I am going to enjoy my morning coffee before I shower and “put on my face,” as my grandmother says. If the new makeup is anything less than wonderful, you can be sure I’ll be the first to let you know!

Day 11: Dieting is for the Dogs

Poor little Mabel. She must feel incredibly picked on. I just changed her dog food to a higher calorie brand. Unintentional higher calories, but it’s a fact nonetheless. She was pretty trim for a while, but the other day I noticed her looking more and more like a, well…like a piano bench.

Funny how this has led here. A few months ago, when my mom’s dog Emma was diagnosed with cancer, I was sharing the news with a co-worker who asked what kind of food Emma ate.

Purina. Why?

“Well, every dog I’ve heard of who had cancer ate Purina brand.”

Now, I’m not trying to “dog” Purina in the least. I always thought them to be a fine brand. Perhaps they have a higher quality food line that I just don’t know about. And canine cancer victims can certainly have eaten other brands of food. But I’m not taking any chances. Plus, now that I have researched product ingredients, I found all the same ingredients in dog food that I am trying to avoid in my pantry. 

Mason, our older Lab, has dined for several years on Nature’s Recipe as a direct result of suspected food allergies. So he gets no funky additives, while I get almost no price breaks. After the first puppy year, Mabel was on Beneful’s Healthy Weight food, and looking mighty fine indeed. But even the thought of Purina being culprit to cancer had me scanning the dog food aisles for a more acceptable brand. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, but I chose IAMS because I remembered it being in the vet’s office from time to time.

Two months passed before I noticed the Mabelline looking a little broad across the backside. The only thing I could attribute it to was the food brand change, so I started investigating doggy calories. Turns out, I was feeding Mabel FOUR HUNDRED more calories a day than she was used to eating. No wonder the poor girl plumped up.

Joining the rest of the family, Mabel is now on a diet. Didn’t I say some things I change will affect the entire household?  I reduced the quantity of her food to adequately supply an appropriate number of calories for her to burn. I have shared with her all my reasons for this seemingly cruel change, including the fact that she is a large breed dog and extra weight will stress her joints and her heart. I don’t think she really cares about my reasons, but she’s not complaining too much. She has other things to complain about, like squirrels in her yard and birds in her trees. And, as with all my food investigations now, I have confirmed that the food she presently eats contains no harmful or unscrupulous ingredients…just a heck of a lot of calories!

Day 10: Canning My Tan

I have never been very good at sun tanning. Either I’d get too bored and go back inside, or I’d get too comfy and fall asleep, waking to a horrible burn. It always took considerable effort to get three days’ worth of color, after which it would fade and I’d be back at square one. And square one on me is not pretty. I’m as white as a hotel bathtub.

Add the threat of skin cancer to this already non-productive pastime, and you can count me out altogether! I decided long ago that there simply had to be other ways of getting a great tan without all that risk. Tanning beds were never an option for me because of all the horror stories I heard when they first came into use. Yeah, I’m that old.

Enter the spray tan, and as they say in Texas, “Yaaaah-hooo!” I first tried an airbrush tan at a salon about two years ago. It was a nice little change of pace, except for the part where I had to strip down to half my skivvies and strike embarrassing poses while a stranger sprayed dye all over me. Let’s just say I’ve only done that once. But a nice little airbrush spray that I can handle on my own, costs $8.98 a can, and actually smells pretty decent has me hooked on the spray tan. At least until I started learning about product ingredients.

My dear little tan-in-a-can has everything harmful and then some. What’s a girl to do?!! I have been researching my butt off (see?) to find a suitable organic sunless tanner. There is no shortage of them, be assured. But the prices. Oh, my dear goodness, the prices!! I found a moderately reasonable one for *cough, choke* fifty bucks.

I imagine if I internet-order from California then $50 for a thimble full of sunless tanner should be expected. But I’m in Louisiana, and I do not compute $50 for spray tan into the budget. To satisfy my insane curiosity, and even more insane need for a summer glow, I have GOT to stop by Drug Emporium and check out their selection.

If they don’t have a suitable option, I have found a recipe to make my own. The coloring comes from tea. How ME is that?!! All I need is some organic lanolin…and probably a lot more patience.

I’ll keep you posted on my tan. ;)