Day 33: Meditation on Mass

In all this calculating of potential improvements to my life, I have been wondering if I could find some meditation time. Maybe some time to study Scripture in depth or simply read a verse and apply it to my day. Or just spend some one-on-one time with the Man Upstairs, chatting about how yesterday went and what my attitude should be for the day ahead. Whatever it is that I truly need, I wasn’t seeing what it was, or where to fit it in.

But during a funeral Mass this past Thursday it finally struck me. This is where I get my time to chill out with God. And it’s the best of both worlds for me…for a while in the beginning, it’s just me and Him. He’s doing the talking and I’m doing the listening. And then toward the end, we all stand and profess our faith. “We believe…” We, this family of imperfect believers, during this very moment demonstrate the significance of “community.” We worship together, and then we leave to serve together. We remain connected to our Creator and to each other, through this Mass, until we join again next week to renew the connection.

How amazingly awesome is that?!!! Equally amazing is the fact that this opportunity has been afforded to me every single day for the last year plus, and I have not seen its gift. Mass is offered at my office every single morning. Dom, the kids and I attend Mass on Saturdays at our church. I am aware that my Mass Euphoria has dwindled considerably by Monday afternoon. Why didn’t I see earlier that I NEED this renewed connection more often than once a week? Um, duhhh..

I know why I haven’t gone to Mass every day that it’s been offered, and it’s the result of pure selfishness and greed for my time. But, like so many of my other excuses, this one is transparent and flimsy and I see right through it now. Only now…I didn’t want to see through it before because it kept everything convenient for me. If I have learned nothing else over the last month, I have learned that convenience is a killer. It’s nice as long as we keep its purpose in our lives short-lived. When convenience becomes the habit, the standard or the norm, we become complacent, sometimes arrogant, and then stuff just starts to fall apart all around us. It sucks, really.

So, to make a long story short (too late!) from now on I am going to go to Mass at the office. Sure, it’s at 8:00 sharp and I don’t usually drag in during the summers until 8:15, but I figure if I’m having to make up the time missed during my day anyway, it needs to be for a better reason than I just didn’t feel like moving any faster today. So, yes, this change, like all others, will be an enormous blessing even though it requires a sacrifice on my part. But I can’t complain. After all, the bigger sacrifice was His.